Dear mom and dad,
How are you both doing? I hope life’s good as you are both separated. You don’t have to quarrel every morning. You don’t have to get drunk and thrash me all the time. You don’t have to see each other’s faces and feel intense rage. Life must be probably good now. Your brand new life is awesome, isn’t it?
Years flew by. It has been quite long we haven’t seen each other. Now remembering your divorce, did you guys realize how traumatized I felt after that day? I still feel deep pain. Your boy is in pain and this doesn’t bothers you at all. Does it? I wonder sometimes.
After leaving me with the guardian, you guys just vanished from my life. I still remember mom taking her big, red luggage bag on that Tuesday morning. I could see her thick, swollen eyes. Cold tears ran down her pale cheeks. I can still remember her cries. I tried to stop her. I tried really hard. But she didn’t stop. She walked out of the door. Looking at her leave, my world started crumbling down. I could see fears ahead of me. After an hour or two, you also left, dad. You left me all alone. I could see anger in your eyes. No love for me. You didn’t look back. You simply left slamming the door behind us.
That cold Tuesday morning got printed deep inside my heart. Even to this day, I remember everything so vividly. I am sorry. I really can’t forget.
Things got real hard for me. First few months left me traumatized. I was hungry for your love and care. But you walked away. I wished for happy days. But all I could hear were your sharp-toned angry words. Your quarrels. Your endless fights. I longed for your warm hugs. But you threw me everywhere like a lifeless toy. You smashed me when you came home totally drunk. You left me crying most of the time. I didn’t receive the love I deserved. You guys broke me. I was already broken during those days. Did you ever realize this? Not really I believe.
I felt more broken when you both left my life that day. You trusted the damn guardians? They never treated me quite well. Some nights I landed up sleeping outside in cold. Some days passed by without a meal. I was homeless. I was hungry. I was left alone most of the time.
When I had no one around to guide me, I met some friends. Most of them were from broken families just like me. They accompanied me and made my days better. I never felt warmth from anyone until I met them. Their presence made my survival possible. They filled the huge gap inside my heart. They kept me in their group and treated me like a real brother. They were abusers but kind. They gave me whatever they had. So I too landed up abusing drugs. We roamed and robbed people from the streets at night. We broke into people’s houses and stole money. We did everything together. Luckily, we never really got caught by the cops.
As years passed by, I was already addicted to drugs and tablets. My body could hardly function without it. I felt good. So high and lost. My brother-like friends made me feel better. At least they were there when I was in need unlike you two.
But now when I look back, my life was a total waste. I regret. I regret doing everything. I feel bad for myself. I have been doing wrong things all these years. Life sucks! But it was not entirely my fault, was it? I had no one to guide me. I was lost and hopeless. I was broken and pierced. My shattered piece of heart took hold of these people who were also broken and lost. They were there with me. I eventually got along with them and my life ended here. I am sorry. I feel so bad. And partly you two are responsible, aren’t you?
Life is sickening. I miss you mom and dad. Please come to me. I can’t bear this cruel life. I can’t hold it back anymore. I am still broken. I need you. I need your love. I need your care.
Pelden: Fiction writing!
A failed marriage has an adverse effect upon the development of a child if he or she is not guided properly. Please don’t let divorce make your child’s life miserable. Your child is psychologically affected too. So if your marriage fails, consider your kids and guide them. It’s my heartfelt message to every parent.
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