I was the loser at the end

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Yes. A big loser of my life. In my life. My days used to be awesome back then. Simply so free and happy with my family and friends. I did everything.
Until I met you, it felt like my days became better with you. Yes, I really felt this way since the day we started dating.
Whatever I did, you always filled our conversations with all those flatteries. You said, “Darling, I love you. You are so beautiful. I will always be with you.” “Baby, I will never leave you. We will be together forever.”
You promised me many things. Your promises went right through my heart and made me happy. I always used to think you cared and loved me the way I did to you.
But I was so wrong. You didn’t love me. You didn’t care at all. You left me right after that night. The night I won’t forget at all. You called me at your place. You said every word to just keep me engrossed in you. I was happy. I trusted you. I did. Slowly, you started touching me. You gave that look. The look that said you would do everything just to have me. Soon you unzipped my clothes. Your breath hit my flesh. The air ran across my face and the entire body. I could feel your breath. So hot and close. Your hands ran all over me. I thought we were making love. But we weren’t. You simply used me. I knew this until you started acting strange after that night.

Deep down, I thought you would love me always because you said that you loved me. And I trusted you. I was at least glad you replied to my text messages. You called sometimes. I was happy with that. I mean it.

After a month, I missed my period. My usual menstrual cycle was disturbed. I was so dumbfounded. Chills went down my nerves. I went to the hospital and checked. Shockingly, the doctor said I was pregnant. Whole world started to topple down on my head. I couldn’t believe it.

I couldn’t disclose this fact to anyone. Every cell inside my body shivered. I was really scared. Your face flashed right inside my mind amidst all those complicated feelings. I called you. It was hard for me but I had to tell you that I was pregnant with your baby. “WHAT? PREGNANT? Don’t lie. You can’t be. That’s not my baby. You liar. You slut. Leave me, leave my life, you are ruining everything.” shouted you. Without a second thought, you shut down down every contact with me and left me broken. I was totally broken. The person I trusted the most broke me into pieces.

I cried for days and nights. Hiding in a corner, I cried a lot. I couldn’t speak a word to anyone. Not even to my mom. The closest of all. Because I was scared hell a lot of my dad. Pain intensified deep inside my heart.

Days passed by. Months passed by. I couldn’t say I was pregnant. Each passing day was a hell for me. But I had to live. I had to live because I couldn’t kill my baby. The new soul living inside me. I just couldn’t.

My stomach started protruding. My face started to wear ugly patches of freakles. I covered my tummy every time I went out. Nobody noticed me much. I was a merely just a girl with an average look. I made excuses about the freakles. I just couldn’t speak up. I just couldn’t again.

Suddenly one night, my body started aching. It was really painful. The labour pain. Everyone was asleep. I couldn’t shout even though the pain so deep. I had to do it alone. I tried and tried. I even cried with so much pain heaping inside my body. With all the labour pain, I finally gave birth to my baby. The baby was out into the world. I was really happy as well as sad seeing him. I slowly got up, wiped his body with my shirts and covered him with a small blanket. I cleaned the mess. I was in pain. But I had to do it. I did it all alone.

The next morning, everyone was so shocked. I was cuddling the baby. Everyone stared at me with bewilderment. My parents started asking questions. They scolded me. They scolded me for letting their dignity fall off in the society. I let them down with shame. I cried. I cried because I made them dirty with awful criticisms from the society.

Soon the rumors about my pregnancy and the baby thing were in air. Everyone heard them. Everyone did. Wherever I went, they stared at me. They gossiped right behind me. I heard them all. And it pained me. I cried again.
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Life became so hard. I was webbed with all criticisms. People mocked at me. They gave their dreadful looks. Each day became so hard for me and my baby. You see, I was the loser at the end. Life really became so hard for me.

However, I will live to see my son growing. I will live for him. Afterall, his life is my life. I was the loser but I will always try to be there winner for my son. For my only son.

Pelden~Fiction writing! Such situations prevail. So, please before you completely fall for a person, be aware and know them well. If not, you will be the loser at the end just like the girl above. So,watch out everyone.

Follow me @a_thinking_writer (Instagram)  or like my facebook page “PeLden’s DiaRy”.

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